Fight! Again.

Again, we fight for the same thing like before. He blamed my jealousy to his beloved x. On Saturday, after working from PH MBC, I hoped we could spend time together, but he said that he was so busy for grand opening Holland Center in Engku Putri Street. But he tried to made me happy. He gave his time for me, although exactly he was so busy. Firstly, I totally appreciated that. It was so sweet thing he did for me. But, I just knew something that really broke my feeling.

I borrowed his BB. I opened his FB, then I went to in box. There, I finally knew that he had some conversation with hie lovely x. Honestly, I never mind if he do it, but on that day, his words were too lebay for me. But always, as you all could guess, for him I just lebay to see that case. In Mr. Alfon's chat, with his funny way, he told her that he asked guarantee because 'add-remove-add-remove' that she has done to Mr. Alfon. If there was nothing special between them, why did Mr. Alfon say so? Only Mr. Alfon could answer that. It was set me up for the first. Don't move cause I have the second one.
On last year, she celebrate her b'day. Mr. Alfon gave her some sweet words (and for him, it was just a common statement) and I was jealous for it. On my b'day last year, even Mr. Alfon just said 'Wish U All The Best". Done! Everyone said so, even just my friend. My good friends even could give their best hopes for me. He was different, not like my b'day two years ago. Or may be he had so many hopes, but he could not express that on my b'day last year, I totally didn't know. 

Yeah, I admit that I lose my mind. I was so angry because of it. But I did it cause how afraid I was if he was back to that lady. I can be crazy if he goes to other woman. I really realize that they had thousands of memorable. But he always said that I was so lebay and bla bla bla ...

I know he can not describe his love by words, but by actions. But please, there is time that I need to hear from his mouth. I can not read his heart. I know that he always tries to give his best for me every time. But sometimes I need to hear from his mouth.

I'm a natural woman, I can be jealous, I want to be loved, I can be angry, and I can love my man MORE than he loves me.