Don't Lie On Me

It had been a long time huhh. It doesn't mean I forget u, but I just have a limit time to share. I'm really sowwii. Exactly many thing that I'd like to share. Like the label, it must be 'bout my love, love between Mr. Alfon and me. On Sunday, is our anniversary. It has been two years. I'm really glad. If before I measured quality of relationship is only from the time of relation, but now I know how to measure it. Everything is 'bout how to understand and accept one with another, how strong ur couple is or how weak ur couple is. I'm glad to be Alfon's, not because of we are success to pass two years, but I'm totally glad cause I realize that I have a great guy, where I can find warm protection from him. He is a hard worker, a wise guy, can be a good friend also for me.

But as long as two years, I don't know why, is this just my feeling or something else. I know that he love Kak Lia still. Exactly when I'm typing these words, I want to cry, but I can't do it. I must be so strong like Kak Athy said to me: "Bang Alfon just need more time to forget his x, but deep inside his heart, he loves u."
But should I believe that? I can prove that Honey loves his x still. On May last year, at a watch shop when I'd like to buy a watch for Babe. But so so sad, Honey was busy too much to talk 'bout his sweeeeeeetttt niiiiiice watch that he got from Kak Lia as a gift for his graduation from College. I almost cried at that time, but I knew I shouldn't. How stupid I am. How could I keep this feeling as long as the time. But I just couldn't say anything. What an ass hole situation!
That's the first thing. I have the second.
On January 2012, Honey was back to Medan. Kak Lia asked him to call her, but the craziest thing, he called her. While me? He ignored me. How could him! He always denies if I ask him 'bout his beloved x. I have no idea no more. Honest I want to say these to him, but I don't want to open old pain. Honest, the only guy that I want is only him, there's no one else. If in fact he loves Kak Lia still, I feel totally hurt and I can't accept that. If in fact he wants to go back to her, I'll let him go than he stays with me, but he doesn't love me.


I want he wastes that watch. I know every time he uses that watch, I swear that he always remember Kak Lia. How can I say so? Because he uses that watch a long day. When he starts his day until he wants to go bed. I swear that I'm totally jealous with that stupid watch. If I give him a new watch, I'm scared if he won't use the watch from me. It will hurt me more. And I don't want to make a space just because of the watch from Kak Lia. Every time I see he uses that watch, as long as that time I feel sad. But I try to entertain myself.


May be it's just like a stupid sharing, but honest I'm sad.